Concrete and Grace
A mix of edge and femininity

The concert last night was pretty awesome but ended on an unintentional down note for me, however it was so out of anybody’s hands I’m left disappointed but not angry.

I pretty much dug everyone who played last night except for Esterlyn. They were decent, just not quite my cup of tea. Capitol Lights was awesome as an opener, even Worth Dying For was better last night than the first night and I kinda found myself digging them. KJ 52 did the same set from the night before *twirls finger* which was kind of a bummer. Fireflight however rocked my socks off which I kinda figured they would from hearing their sound check from OUTSIDE the club while we waited for the doors to open. Thousand Foot Krutch started off SO unbelievably amazing, even my old-lady self was rocking out like woah. The down note for the night however was that TFK had some MASSIVE type of equipment failure about 4 songs into their set. Chris and I think we have it narrowed down to the monitor systems for the drummer and bass players crapping out completely. This is not a good thing if your percussion can’t keep on tempo or HEAR the rest of the band. So they kinda tossed their entire set list up in the air for a bit and tried to muster on at first with some acoustic songs, but finally had to give up the goat and cut their set early (probably only 2 or 3 songs) which was a disappointment to say the least.

So my list of faves from Creation Fest in order would be:
Kutless
TFK (because they rocked while they could, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt)
Fireflight
Capital Lights (just below Fireflight)
Run Kid Run
Pillar
KJ 52
Worth Dying For
Esterlyn

We were both starving after the show since we didn’t have time to grab dinner before, so we stopped at Denny’s of all places and had some really delicious, greasy after-concert food and then came home and tried to wind down for a bit before crashing to get up early for….D-DAY!!!

I had been told by someone near and dear (Chazzie) that we HAD to see Kutless in concert. Stupidly we had not taken her advice till last night.

HOLY CRAP it was awesome. They are UNBELIEVEABLE live and I wish the entire night had just been them. Though I have to admit meeting Jon Micah before the show was surreal as he was just mingling amidst the tables after the doors had opened. No pictures though, because Chris and I always forget we have cameras on our cell phones until it’s too late. Meh!

Lineup was:
Run Kid Run (they were awesome!)
KJ 52 (entertaining, and also the MC)
Worth Dying For (not my fave in the slightest!)
Pillar (pretty decent, a good lead up to the “headliner”)
and
Kutless (HOLY $*!)()!(#)!(# they rocked my face off and I want to see them again, NOW)

Tonight is Night Two of the show and we get to see:
Esterlyn
Capital Lights
KJ 52
Worth Dying For
Fireflight
and
Thousand Foot Krutch (I’m so stoked to see these guys again!!!!!!)

I’m sure I’ll write more about tonight’s show tomorrow but Sat. is gonna be filled with stuff to do as well. Going to Surly Brewing to get a limited release beer and then going to another concert @ 3Degrees…

That show is:
Beautiful Imperfection
After Edmund
Addison Road
and
Building 429 (I can’t begin to tell you how excited Chris is for this)

I just want to stop hurting.

To stop crying at the drop of a hat.

To stop looking over at Chris and feeling utterly helpless because there’s nothing I can do to comfort him because I’m feeling much of the same pain.

I just want our kitty back.

I can’t believe how badly this hurts this time around. Never before have I been through this with someone so closely, lived in the same house at the same time, cared for the animal together like we did.

Before there was always a safe distance, a mental and physical buffer zone from the worst of the pain and the loss. This time it’s in my face 24/7, and I can’t escape it because I always have to come home to a now 1/3 more empty house.

I tried to channel some of my emotions into something artistic, I made “Brisco Balls” this afternoon and I love how they turned out. Glass Christmas ornaments with metallic mica powders inside in all his colours. But it’s not the same.  It’s not curling up on the back of the couch with us, it’s not his super soft fur on the side of his neck, it’s not his pitiful meow when he was looking for attention, it’s not the feather soft “kisses” of his nose brushing against my eyebrow… it’s just emptiness with no way to fill it.

Right now I’m wondering just how many more cat-shaped holes my heart can take.

Life can change in an instant. There was no better proof of that than tonight.

Brisco  1999 - 2008

A little before 5pm tonight, I was sitting on the couch in the basement when Brisco came up beside me. He was getting love and purring and suddenly I thought he was slipping off the edge of the couch. Sadly I caught the look of panic on his face before he fell to the floor and stopped moving. He kept purring while I started to panic and called for Chris to come. Neither of us knew what to do, we raced upstairs to get the vet’s number and when we couldn’t find it we wrapped Brisco up in a fluffy towel and raced to the vet begging and pleading with him to be ok.

He never was.

There was nothing we could do for him, the vet wasn’t open and he likely passed away while I was holding him in the car from what we think was a massive stroke.

It’s not fair. He was too young.

He’s been burried in a wonderful place, full of memories and of past cats and it’s a place we will visit OFTEN. Now I am worried about Chris above all, then of Logan (Brisco’s literal brother) who hasn’t been apart from him all his life and Luna too.

You are missed Brisco, you’ll always be remembered and you can never be replaced.

Goodnight sweet Prince.

My kitten. She is a Michael Phelps fan.

No seriously. Not like she added his facebook to her catbook or anything, but she LAUNCHES off of us while we’re on the couch to go sit beneath the TV and stare up at it after his name is mentioned leading up to his events, when he’s on the screen or when he’s swimming.

WTFBBQ???!?

Well kids, I’m taking off for the rest of the week.  I’m headed to the heart of heat and land of the cowboy. That’s right I’m headed to Texas, Dallas to be exact. I’ll be at Seminar all week with hardly a down moment to myself to enjoy Dallas in its own right, but I’m going to attempt to connect with a friend while I’m down there from DSF. Hopefully things will work out to make that happen.

I’ve got lots to catch up on when I get back both memories from the trip as well as entries that are missing from the blog between the last entry and this one. There are never enough hours in the day… Never.

I’m not looking forward to flying for some reason today, even though I’m on a flight with four of my other unit members, I don’t think any of us are sitting near one another. Somewhat of a bummer, but not hard to imagine since we all booked our reservations at different times with no “choice” really of where we sit.

I didn’t sleep well last night, so I might have to “give in” and have some hard core caffeine in the form of an energy drink when I go to the bank.

A couple of birding days mixed with sadness and happiness around here…

It’s been getting drier and hotter around here which only means that it is officially summer. Unfortunately while we have lots of ice cold lemonade and air conditioning inside, the birds outside have had a tough go of finding the bugs needed to stay alive and keep their babies alive as well. This has been most evident with the Barn Swallows and their babies. First we lost the sixth egg from it being kicked out of the nest, then it was one of the two runts that was kicked out or flung from the nest to perish on our steps followed by the other runt that was simply dropped into the box below their nest. This left us with three babies that appeared to be healthy and sitting high up in the nest with their orange breast feathers starting to come in.

The next morning, yesterday that is, we were down to only one visible baby sitting up on the nest and responding to when the parents came with what limited food they could find. Later that evening we checked and all of our hopes were dashed, none of the babies responded to sound, parents or the flash of Chris’ camera which usually evoked a loud screeching competition for food and much gaping in all 5 babies. There was a little bit of mourning happening and a lot of questions of why, how and what happened as well.

This morning I had gotten out of the shower and had been getting ready to dry my hair when Chris came in and told me he thought the parents were “mourning” the loss of all their babies as they were flying around the portico and perching on the box where one baby had fallen and died that was just beneath the nest. I finished up drying off my hair and thinking on how odd it sounded that they would stick around like that after a failed nest. Chris was watching the box from the upstairs window and had it open to the screen to listen for the calls and sounds of the parents. I peeked out and was almost convinced I had seen movement down below but I wasn’t sure if it was the screen in the breeze, my hair or something else entirely. That is until one of the parents arrived and clear as day from 22 feet up I could see that bright yellow gaping mouth and the excited screeching of a baby demanding to be fed.

We ran outside, ok so we peeked first as to not spook the parents, but we got outside and sure enough a little baby Barn Swallow had managed to survive not only in a nest full of dead siblings, but the fall of about 9.5 feet to the box below. He was perched up on one of the rocks inside and was happy to gape as we approached. It took a little while but the little guy finally flapped his incoming wing feathers and preened a bit and convinced us that he was ok and didn’t have any major external injuries. I called the Wildlife Rehab Center here in Roseville for some advice since the parents obviously knew where the baby was. I was told that it was best to keep an eye on him for a while, make sure the parents were feeding him and if not to bring him in to the center. Thankfully the parents showed up often to feed the little guy and he seems to be doing ok. I cleaned out the old box we had collecting poop under the nest and CAREFULLY transferred the little guy into a new box full of rocks for him to perch on and open enough for the parents to get in and feed him. So far so good… lets hope he makes it through the night.

Some of the joy in all of this is that today our baby Eastern Bluebirds hatched, well four of the five eggs hatched today, we’re hoping tomorrow brings the fifth baby into the world. They’re currently all skin with some wispy feathers and big eye patches that remind me of flies. They’re blind as bats at the moment but that doesn’t stop one or two (or all four) from using their incredibly strong neck muscles to shoot their heads up at something that sounds like mom and gape wide for food. It’s too adorable for words. I knew they must have been close to hatching yesterday since the male Eastern Bluebird was doing his more protective “dance” for lack of a better term above and near the nest. He hovers just above us and snaps his wings and flutters them as he sits in mid-air. I really should try to get a video of it just to share.

Our Eastern Bluebirds are getting trained, perhaps too well even, to the sound of our sliding door and screen opening. It doesn’t matter if it’s the side door or the deck door (apparently they sound enough alike), but they come flying down in a group and perch on the top of the nesting box and look for mealworms below it or screech and beg for food till they’re fed in the case of the recent fledglings. It’s nice to get a glimpse of the family together. We’ve only been able to spot four of the five fledges, so we might have lost one to the string of bad storms we had right after they left the nest. It’s sad, but the 80% success rate so far is a big positive.

Apparently overnight we lost Barn Swallow egg number 6 that didn’t hatch and was likely kicked out of the nest by either the parents, or the cramped five little babies into the box below.  I guess the parents have a sixth-sense about these things and will likely take care of the icky business with infertile eggs or sickly young before they have a chance of affecting the rest of the nest.

In happier news we got an Eastern Bluebird egg surprise today! We thought the female was done with her clutch of four eggs as they usually lay eggs in the early morning so when we checked around 10am there were still four eggs in the nest. However when we checked in again and to get photos in the afternoon there were now five eggs in the nest and they were being incubated by the mom. We’ll be keeping a close eye on her from a distance for a while now as she incubates and we’ll likely see these eggs hatch between July 5′th and July 7th if they’re on time.

I have quite a few entries to post and things to write about in the never ending bird drama at our place coupled with a few things going on in my life (wow I have a life?!?!)  So expect to see quite a few “backdated” entries from me.

Also, a little disclaimer from me. Since Chris (my resident photog and boyfriend) is perpetually UBER busy, I will often go back and update photos to older entries as he gets them off his camera and sized/posted for public consumption. Just a heads up so you don’t miss anything. I’d take photos myself with my own crappy Point-N-Shoot, however they often turn up odd, off colour or just plain horrible. There are minor exceptions however when apparently my camera does better than Chris’ at cutting out glass glare, like when you’re taking a photo of a frog that’s clinging to your window… but that’s one of those backdated posts to come…